EROTIC EONS: FIELD DAY'S FAVORITE DILDOS THROUGH THE AGES
Welcome to Dildos Through the Ages!
As it turns out, dildos have been around since time immemorial. Let us take you on a journey through time to explore some high points of dildo craftsmanship from prehistory through the Victorian Era.
Siltstone phallus, 26,000BCE
Discovered by a team of researchers from Tübingen University in 2005 who were exploring the Hohle Fels Cave in modern-day Germany, this phallus is potentially the oldest dildo yet uncovered by modern people. When working with artifacts this antique, it is often difficult or impossible to determine exactly how they were used contemporaneously. Some scholars claim objects like the siltstone phallus were used for ritualistic purposes. Others believe they were used for a more carnal pursuit. Even experts have a limited understanding of prehistoric cultures and motivations, so we may never know exactly how this object was used, but consider that ritual and pleasure do not have to exist separately! (And that humans love to put a peg in a hole.)
Double ended bronze phallus with stone eggs. 2nd Century BCE, Han Dynasty China
A few millennia before Gwyneth Paltrow tempted Americans with jade yoni eggs, people living in Han Dynasty China used bronze dildos and, indeed, stone and jade eggs for pleasure and sexual wellness.
Many documents survive from this era, including sex manuals and philosophical texts describing sexuality. Male bisexual and homosexual behavior in the Han Dynasty was well documented and appears to have been viewed as morally neutral and socially acceptable. Unfortunately, this historical era did not celebrate women writers, and existing documents on women’s sexuality were largely written from a male perspective. Still, wonderful terminology for ancient lesbian sex has survived such as “polishing the mirror”, believed to be a reference to vulva-on-vulva sex, perhaps using the tool shown above.
Wood phallus, c. 1st Century CE. Ancient Roman fort in modern Northumberland, England
Despite a large body of written and artistic evidence for Ancient Roman dildos (including a play where three women argue over who gets to use the community dildo next), actual specimens have been hard to come by. Phallic Roman artifacts are often depicted in art, but only one dildo (above) has been discovered that researchers believe may have actually been used for sex.
The artifact was originally catalogued by archeologists as a “darning tool”, likely because it was found among other sewing tools. More recently, the very phallic object has been recategorized as...a dildo. Some still argue that it could have been used as a pestle for grinding herbs or a drop spindle (a tool used for spinning yarn), but people generally agree that it looks an awful lot like a penis. Analysis revealed that both ends had been “well used”, so however you spin it, we know this tool was handled plenty.
Sixteenth-century dildo from Murano (near Venice, Italy). This piece could be filled with liquid and made to ejaculate.
The phalluses of Ancient Rome must have made a lasting impression on the Italian penis...I mean, peninsula. During the 16th Century, Murano, Italy was the place from whence the finest dildos came. In 1534, author Pietro Aretino described a bounty of glass dildos delivered in a basket as “glass fruits made in Murano near Venice to look like a prick”.
No sooner were those fruits of paradise seen than the hands of both sexes, already engaged with one anothers thighs, tits, flutes and bags, lunged for them with the dexterity of pickpockets…
Just a few decades later in the 1598 edition of Florio’s Italian-English dictionary, pastinaca muranese, literally translated to “parsnip from Murano”, was so commonly used that it had its own dictionary entry. The dictionary translation was “a dildoe made of glasse.”
c. 1840. County Meath, Ireland. Ivory. Likely carved in China.
Of course, the family heirloom dildo!
This piece tells the story of an ultra-wealthy Victorian Era Anglo-Irish husband who traveled to India on safari, killed an elephant, and had its tusk carved into a phallus as a loving gift for his wife. This object was likely created by Chinese ivory artisans, and the fine leather box was made back home in Ireland. A few special touches were added to the overall fine craftsmanship: a heart shape where the user’s thumb might rest during use and a special compartment containing a lock of the husband’s hair.
While this dildo was certainly a cut above in expense and style, Victorian dildos were commonplace, despite the era’s shame around sex. Sources even describe vendors slinging sexy wares streetside!